Goodbye, old email

It just feels weird departing from my old email. But it's not my fault. Myabe it's not because it raised the ante and I'm not man enough to hold up to my end of the promise. It's like a relationship.

Just a Thought

Hey, what if the entropy of the universe is not constantly increasing, but rather constant? What if black holes "negate" entropy by sucking up entropy as more is produced by people and stuff? Or did I just have too much Strawberry soda last night?

Colleges

Colleges I've been looking at and as of press time might apply to:


1. UA
2. NAU
3. Harvey Mudd College
4. Rice University
5. IIT (Ill. Inst. of Tech- hey they said something about a free application)
6. MIT (I also found out there's a MItchell Inst. of Technology, so I'll have to look into that one, too :) .)

Geesh, this is scary.

Not quite sure what to say

Yeah. So our little UHS world has been, to say the least, shaken up a bit. And, well, I'm not sure what to say. I didn't know him very well. If really at all. Blondeau was always joking and calling him a nerd, but I really couldn't say anything good or bad. And I guess now things will be a little different for those of you that would've had him next year.

I remember that since freshman year, everyone and their second cousin wanted me to join, and I always left it at a superficial maybe, but an internal no. I would not march unless my life depended on it. But now I wish I had, even if just to drop out, just to see this cool guy that everyone was always talking about. So. I guess all I can do is hug you band peoples 'cause that's all I know to do.

I should

I should've gone to graduation for the seniors. I mean, I've only known most of them since I was in their math classes but, still, it's the thought that counts. And I truly do have lots of friends who are seniors and I never really did a formal goodbye to any of them. I did some long yearbook entries of a page for a couple, but it seems insufficient. So I kinda implicitly left thing at "See ya later if not before". Maybe that's for the better, I don't know.

And that's gonna be us next year. I just can't get it out of my mind. The thought of us graduating and all. Please don't let me make a speech. Please don't. Let Elise or somebody else with quite a better vocabulary talk of how great we were and how we accomplished all the hard tasks of UHS, and we're all leaving and spreading our penguin germs throughout the country, etc. Cuz mine would be like, "Ladies and gentlemen, we are graduating. Cool, huh? Take that, dad! Shows what I can do without any of your precious time. I want to be the guy who digs up the dinosaurs or talks to the aliens. Ok we all graduated; bye!" And that would be crappy.

And I have an appointment with Ms. Rikli tomorrow at 10. I just want to get an idea of what all I should be doing over the summer when it comes to looking at colleges and testing and such. (I MUST take the SAT II early senior year, and retake SAT I; should we also take the new fangled one that comes out in like March or would that be a bad thing?) Stuff like that.

Hearing: "Soak up the Sun" by Cheryl Crow on TV
Feeling: Excitedly antsy
'voiding: cleaning my room

I'll see your packet of sugar and I'll raise you two packets of sugar

So today was the last day. The health final was annoying. In English I am a handful of points away from a B (stupid being sick on big essay test days!) and in Spanish we just couldn't wait to get out. Then we got out, I said a little prayer, and next thing I know I'm at TGIFridays with a few friends and a couple of freshmen who happen to be Tim Reckhart's brother Dan and fellow junior Lexa Perrian and her freshman sister Georgia. And we played cards, poker, and wagered on sugar packets. Georgia won.

And guess who was sitting at the next table. Come on, guess....


Fine, fine, it was Hosmer. Really. We all said hello quickly and then went back to our meals. He was with some business partner or friend or something.

But come tonight at graduation we shall take the throne. And it will be land. OUr turf. Our benches. Our territory. And it freaks me out.

've had some songs in my head. There's a term for that. But anyway these are them so they'll get in yours, too.


"Beautiful Letdown"- by Switchfoot

it was a beautiful let down
when i crashed and burned
when i found myself alone unknown and hurt
it was a beautiful let down
the day i knew
that all the riches this world had to offer me
would never do

in a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt
i was trying so hard to fit in, fit in,
until i found out
i don't belong here
i don't belong here
I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong
but i don't belong

it was a beautiful let down
when you found me here
yeah for once in a blue moon i see everything clear
i'll be a beautiful let down
that's what i'll forever be
and though it may cost my soul
i'll sing for free
we're still chasin our tails and the rising sun
in our dark water planet
still spins in a race
where no one wins and no one's one

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
i'm gonna set sight and set sail for the kingdom come
Your kingdom come
won't you let me down yeah
let my foolish proud
forever let me down

easy living, not much like your name
easy dying, you look just about the same
won't you please take me off your list
easy living please come on and let me down

we are a beautiful let down,
painfully uncool,
the church of the dropouts
and losers and sinners and failures and the fools
oh what a beautiful let down
are we salt in the wound
let us sing one true tune

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
Feels like I don't belong here
Let me down
Let me down
Feels like I'm let down
Let me down.
Cuz I don't belong here
Please
Won't you let me down?


My Beautiful: - by Lennon (note, this is not JOhn Lennon, but rather this cool lady who's only like 20 and goes by that name)

Wake up every morning to the sound of the radio screaming/ 6:30, 7:30, 8 o'clock and I got to leave/ Walk out on the street with nothing on except the shame of last night/ And a number in my hand of a man I don't really need/ (CHORUS)- Where do I fit in/ Where is my place here/ What do I need to say, what do you want to hear/ Where do I fit in/ If she's in your bed/ Where is my beautiful/ (Verse 2)- Late night/ long day, doesn't make much difference to me anyway/ You called, I answered, but baby I'm only half awake/ Hush little one with you here everythings going to be okay/ Is all you say but what if things don't go that way/ (CHORUS)/ (Verse 3)- It's over, we both know, we're both tired of playing the parts/ I said goodbye, you said oh well nothing's really lost/ Call every now and then just to hear your voice talk to me/ You still say everything's going to be alright but it's not and that's something your too blind to see/ (CHORUS x2)




"Dare You To Move"- by Switchfoot

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next

[Chorus]
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

[Chorus]

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before


Here's something. I think it's coinidental Today is 5/20. 5 over 20, 5/20, = 1/4, and we have 1/4 more of high school to go through! Isn't that freaky. Or, as Devin Sanera pointed out to me, 5 and 20 make 25, and that's how much percent we have to go!!!!!!!!

walk a little taller

Wow. The year is, like, almost over. Crap.

I think I only have 2 finals to do: English and Health. Health is just silly. I quickly BS my nutrition assignment, which is EXACTLY the same thing we did freshman year in Tobin's honors bio class, with the counting calories and finding out you overeat, and the next day he compliments me on my accurate logging of my intakes- just like a good penguin. And I get XC for it! Now, not that I'm complaining or anything, but how low are these standards?! My goodness.

But, dang, it's over. I probably finished my final piece of homework for the year this morning at 1230. English and Spanish. Joy oh joy. So I had to do like 70% or the journals for this quarter, and if it's one thing I find myself doing, it's rambling and then somehow connecting my miscellany to the prompt.

And now that I get to watch more TV and relax, all of my good shows are having their season finales or ending. Now I lost track of Frasier a few years ago, but I kept on knowing what happened more or less, and yet I missed the end. Shows my friendshipness.

And Randy Johnson pitched a perfect game.

But today was the last lunch and library day of the year. At lunch a fewof the people whom I sat with in the past stopped by. And we played cards. And it was wondeful. I learned how to play Palace. And it was good. Thoughts of Spanish work filled my mind as always did, but it was in a good sense. And it made me smile. I'm already missing the best parts and they haven't left yet.

Damn L&O: SVU was good. Yay! Another episode coming up next! I love the L&O's, but the old dude's leaving tomorrow :(

Also I got a job for tutoring these past couple of days. The freshman's in Int. but she knows the stuff. It feels weird because I eanred , well, talking of numbers would be chauvanistic- if it means what I think it does, I feel like I charged too much. I know that more professional people can charge upwards of 45 bucks and hour or more. It's crazy. Now mine was a fraction of that, but why do I feel like I'm ripping the person off? Do I just have that kind of psyche where I feel like I'm overcharging everything? I don't know. But last year when I had that stint at Fickett Middle I got 6. 05 an hour, and I thought that was a lot.

But in a couple of days we can walk down the halls knowing we officially run the business.

Twelve Thirty

At last! Free at last! Hooray! APs are over for me! What a relief. Today was physics B, and I am just so glad it's over. Well, naturally now we have finals and Spanihs noteboooks to work on. I'm not surw why; I've just lost all of the spark when it comes to school. You show up. You listen to what they have to say. You eat lunch. Listenen to them talk about the final a bit more and voila! Day's over.

But we're almost no longer juniors anymore. We've griped and moaned about the essays and the homework and now we're just about done. All we have are finals next week and then we're seniors. This is our real last summer as kids, you know. Yes, technically next summer will count too, but we'll all be thinking about college and how we're getting on that jet plane or finding a dorm room and a good buddy who's not too smelly and respects your property.

And frankly I'm scared. I'm even wary of this new blogger update. Already I yearn for the old homepage with the orange and blue. And I remember how nervous I was leaving middle school. It didn't matter that I was number one math kid in the state; I was still afraid of UHS.

It's like you want one foot outside and one in.

mum

Today is MOther's Day. Yes, I let my mom buy a new purse for herself. But anyway with the Physics AP tomorrow I am more than a little anxious. Gotta go bowling tonight so I hopes that that will get my mind off of newtons and Tesla (which is a rock band, you know.)

But as some of you might know and the rest of you will, I like country music. There's this new somg that's really awesome. It's a metaphor. Maybe. Or one of those word puns. Or some other rhetorical device.

Break Down Here
(James Brown/Patrick Matthews)

Mile marker 203, the gas guage leanin' on the edge of "E",
An' I'll be dang'd if the rain ain't pourin' down.
There's somethin' smokin' underneath the hood,
It's a-bangin' and a-clangin' an' it can't be good,
An' it's another fifty miles to the nearest town.
Everythin' I own's in the back in a hefty bag;
I'm outta cigarettes an' I'm down to my last drag.

I'd sure hate to break down here,
Nothin' up ahead or in the rear view mirror.
Out in the middle of no-where, no-where.
I'm in trouble if these wheels stop rollin'.
So, God help me, keep me movin' somehow.
Don't let me start wishin' I was with him now.
I made it this far without cryin' a single tear.
I'd sure hate to break down here.

Under fifty thousand miles ago,
Before the bad blood an' busted radio,
He said I was all he had ever needed.
But love is blind an' little did I know,
You were just another dead end road,
Made with pretty lies an' broken dreams.
Baby, leavin' you is easier than bein' gone.
I don't know what I'll do if one more thing goes wrong.

I'd sure hate to break down here,
Nothin' up ahead or in the rear view mirror.
Out in the middle of no-where, no-where.
I'm in trouble if these wheels stop rollin'.
So, God help me, keep me movin' somehow.
Don't let me start wishin' I was with him now.
I made it this far without cryin' a single tear.
An' I'd sure hate to break down here.
Oh, no.

I'd sure hate to break down here,
With nothin' up ahead or in the rear view mirror.
Out in the middle of no-where, no-where.
I'm in trouble if these wheels stop rollin'.
So, God help me, keep me movin' somehow.
Don't let me start wishin' I was with him now.
I made it this far without cryin' a single tear.
An' I'd sure hate to break down,
It's too late to turn around.
I'd sure hate to break down here.

Mile marker 215.



So there. Cuz it's about relationships AND driving. Isn't that cool? But that's all I got to say. Anybody who can explain why the aurora borealis is the way it is will win a free search courtesy of yahoo.

Bowling scores TBA.

What all is everyone doing once we escapr the treachery of finals? OR if anyone knows of any job openings I would be intersted. On some website they told me that a coffeeshop needs a cleaning person, so anything but that. The fewer germs the better.

HOW in the world could I forget detente?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Darnit.

But I think I did ok overall. If I got a 3 I would only be mildly surprised. I seriously think I owned it.

Saw a couple of friends from middle school and some people I'd like to put behind me. BUt that's a different blog. Geesh it was a lot of people.

Thought the MC was ok, but oh how I wish I knew what I got right and wrong on my previous tests. That would've helped on my uncertainties.

And I hate it when you wind up crossing out all of the choices and then have to see which is the least wrong. Or when a couple choices have truth but you have to weigh which is most right.

But I survived. Now on to physics. You can smell my enthusiasm. If anyone is in a group thing I would love to join and if I can get a ride then that's even better.

update

the eve before the rest of my life, I need to update on a couple of things:

My granny's out of the hospital. That makes me happy.

I'm rich! I won first place for level 3 outside experience on the nat'l Spanish test. And that means I get 35 bucks! Hoorah! But I don't know when I'll get it. Rodriguez says that I'm 6th in the nation on that test. Is that for all of level 3 or outside experience (which means not quite bilingual but you've known spanihs more than just from class)?

The film looked great; I looked fat. Big surprise there. But it was awesome.

I think I finally got all my rebellions categorized for APUSH.

And then there's physics.

Darwinism

HOwdy everybody.

Well, APs are well underway for most everyone, and frankly I'm feeling a bit whelmed. Physically and mentally. Had to run the mile yesterday to make it up from a month ago or so. SO that was tiring naturally for me.

I hate how these APs determine your fate in a relatively short time. You slave for months on a subject and it's all or nothing for credit on these tests and 80 dollars down the drain. BUt I guess 80 dollars now is better than a couple of hundred or even a few thousand down the road.

Anyway so I doubt I did well on the English AP on Monday. I'm pretty sure I wrote at least one if the essays wrong and the reading part is my worst; that's what hurt me the most on my SAT. I actually got nearly all the analogies and sentence completions. BUt stupid reading. SO I know what I need to work on.

On TUesday our group met together to film our video for Gatsby, our book. I think we did too much; we did pretty much all of chapter 3. Granted, it was shortened, but when Tarreyn was reviewing all of it I couldn't stand it. Not sure why, but I can't sound my voice when it's not coming from me; I think it sounds so weird. I was the Owl Eyed Man. And the butler. And MR mumbles. BUt we didn't get done til eleven. At night.

And my grandma's in the hospital. So I'm worried about that. NOt sure what's wrong with her. Something intestinal but something not intestinal. So this is the third day I don't have my nanie in her room. But as far as I know she should be coming out of it, so that's partially why I've been a bit distracted and farsighted- well, I can't think of the word, but TGIt's circulocution.

Then today was the Calc BC test. It was OK. Just OK. State math champion MItch can't remember a couple stupid formulas (which all formulas are, except for maybe PV = nRT) But I think, I hope, that I'll squeak with a 5. If you do really well on the Multiple Choice but mediocre on the free response then you're still in 5 territory. GUess I only have 2 months to anxiously worry about it.

Randomly, last week when I was sick, I had the TV on the jazz music channel and they played this old song by Sarah Vaughn (sp?) called Doodlin' and it was so refreshing, so simple. But I can't find the lyrics.

About the title. 2 things come to mind: Bush and stupid pigeons.

Again, I'm not a political person, but you know that commercial with the old dude saying if he can't go to Canada for his drugs then let the police arrest him so they have to pay for his drugs, that says that Bush is with the drug companies? Yeah, that one. Anyway, had me wondering if in some weird way Democrats are those that don't believe in Darwinism. A fair chance for all, whether you'd normally die or not, and republicans secretly practice social darwinism and natural darwinism, "only the strong survive," where only the strong, as in wealthy and deceptive and skillful, can survive while the rest get bad healthcare and HMOs? Just a thought. And I know there are flaws; I'm probably contradicting myself somewhere, but that's that.

Also, today after the BC test, mom took me to Sonic to get lunch. She decided it was cooler outside than in the cra, so sat out. A bunch of pigeons started eyeing us in that kamikaze kind of way. Well, most of them were decently plump, but there was this one that was thinner than the rest. SO naturally we throw it a french fry. And it walks slowly towards it, while the others spy it and are diving to it, and the fat ones pick it up first. So either this pigeon wasn't as hungry or he's got bad depth perception. Mom was calling it retarded.

And, yes, the AP for history is Friday. I know I'm getting a three. I know the stuff, but not well enough. Period. Hopefully I'll get a 3 in English, too.