Wolfs

NO one's online right now. It feels kinda weird. After all, when there are almost 30 people on your buddy list (though that may be a small number to some) you would think that hopefully at least one other person would be here to commisserate with.

Yay! Someone came on.

Great; they left b4 I even had the chance to see who it was. Poo.

Oh well. I guess we just have that much homework. We're all probably thinking our asses off for that US history test (you guys in Priest, I really loathe you at the moment.) but why? We get so riled up over the smallest things here; now for some reason this conversation seems vaguely familiar. But again I don't know why.

It rained again today. The rain just always makes me so happy. I should go somewhere rainier.

But otherwise it has been the same old same. They threw a banana at me during lunch; I almost caught it. I did some very bad kung fu and did the robot in spansih class the other day. No new improvements on songs. Just more homework to go off and run to b4 it devours us up. Darn.

If something is worth living for, is it worth more to die for? Someone asked me that the other day, but then they asked me what time it was, so all philosophical meanings went right out the window. I guess so. Is writing an anti-math poem wrong desppite being the presumed smartest in the class? Maybe. I give up sometimes.

I give up right now.

Fourteen holes in the wall

So today was a pretty bad day. It was like the worst sandwich in the world. YOu look at it from the outside, the crust is all nice and fluffy, but the second you bite in your only though is to get it out. I mean, it started and ended well, but the rest was just spolied meats and veggies. I won't give details because that's boring and what I'm going to try and refrain myslef from doing (Today I went to the mall; it was hot; I saw a green poodle- etc).

But lately I'm just having serious doubts about everything, it seems. But I've always been pessimistic and paranoid like that, so it's nothing new. It's just that I think too much, damn it! Sometimes I just wish someone would get inside and drill out this little chunk of my brain so I don't get these many migrains. I heard on some show that this lady got holes drilled in her temples and now she doesn't get headaches anymore. I'd pay for that. Or maybe I just need more sleep. And caffeine.

I haven't been feeling very creative lately; don't know why. Well, I've written a couple of things here and there but the last one I did kinda got out of control and it wound up telling this story of this dude getting high with his grl and then raping her, so that's not what you'd really expect from me, is it? I don't know what that means subconscious wise, maybe just reminding me that drugs are bad. But that's just what they want you to think.

the other view of today

OK so maybe the last blog was a little harsh; I'll try and go all both-ways/neoconservative/new left with this.

So today was the 11th of September. Yes, yes, we all know about what happened. I remember it very well. I had to take a test about Egypt in Colville's English/Soc. Studies. block class. and everyone was too nervous to concentrate well on it; I got a C. But hearing the jets fly overghead and the news coverage in señors Caballero's spanish class made me realize that the world was not the same as it was at sunrise. There was a certain aura that went to yellow and red and blue; a rainbow of tears was in the making.

Now, I was really bummed about it. I talked to friends online aftre school about it, and they seemed just as nervous as I if not more. So we talked about how we wished things went back the day before and just happier times in general.

During the whole week when they had nonstop coverage for at least five days, I only cried once; I made myself proud. Usually I go bawling when Bambi's mother died. But it was just a silent, private weep, and then I went bck to life. It was that the story was so sad AND touching! It was about these two best friends who lived in Concord, I think. BEst friends since, like, the 60s. They were going to go to CA for a vacation but bought seperate tickets cuz it was cheaper. So the two friends went on different planes that were leaving from Boston. One wound up being flown into thw north tower, and the other one, the south tower. It was just so nice how friendship always has a way of making sense of things.

BUt now the night is over, and I should really back to doing my Englsih. And calc.... and history....

Today is Thursday and everything sucks.

I think that's pretty explanatory.

So yes, today is September 11th. Oh my! Quick, run! The terrorists are after you! Sorry.I just think it's a little funny how some people get all riled upabout national security. I mean I think the reason people get so saddened by this is that, while, yes, lots of people died, they are saddened because they lost any sense of refuge by being here in the US, After all, thingsof this caliber (to a lesser extent) go on all the time everywhere else, but how dare we think it could happen here. Never in a million years. Because this is the US, where good, hard-working folk live for freedom and justice and equality and SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY! Now, I'm sorry if I don't sound patriotic. but I just think that we had this arrogance about ourselves as a nation to be blind in both eyes. The CIA did the best they could. BUt the fact is we're all still humans. Granted, our standard of laving may be among the top and we have this sense of unity and crap, but we're still going to be envious and warlike and territorial and such; if there only two people left on this earth, undoubtedly one would make the under one inferior, or at least try it in some fashion.

Please, guys, don't get me wrong here; maybe it's just that I'd been expecting something like that since as long as I can remember. I've always been pesimistic, I guess. Or maybe realistic, I dunno. But all I know is I hate homework. Especially calc.

Now I just need a microphone and a good guitar

lately I've been having these urges to be in a band. Granted, I know playing clarinet in middle school won't get me very far, but I just want to be in a band. I mean I've got a few songs, you all know that (I took a tally while I was sick, and I've actually got about 30 of them that are somewhat decent, bt again that's very subjective. For some reason a lot of my favorites have colors in the title. Weird.)

Anywho, back to my point, what all is needed to make a band? We know that talent is not necessarily essential, but it helps. And lots of people I know play instruments and/or can sing. AND I CAN BE THE MANAGER! No, maybe publicitor is a better idea. Oh. But we need time. And frankly UHS doesn't give enough of that. crap.

if you have an idea, let your people contact my people and we'll discuss it over lunch. Hopefully there'll be something good in the cafeteria, though that's doubtful.

Wheee!

Also, I got Vice City for my PS2 on my bday. And so I just ride around on the motorcycles, often crashing off of them, mind you, so I go WHEEEE!!!!! CRASH! and then I'm dead becuase I fell off a building and my bike landed on top of me. It's cool. So whenever youre in my neighborhood, which is technically every school day, we could play it, pending there was no real hw. Ha ha ha. Oh I'm so funny. NO real hw? Simply hilarious.

Anybody got a cookie?

A whole lotta shakin' goin' on

Hello.

Wow it's been a while since I've been able to blog something, sorry. Here's the rundown in a short condensed version.

I turned 17 on the 2nd! Woohoo! NOw I can go see R movies without my mommy. Booyah!

School sucks. History test was crap and I barely got a C, which isn't horrible for not studying, but people expect me to get an A, dammit, so I guess I oughta study.

Umm. gee. well is that condensed enough for you?

And I didn't realize there was a makeshift following (beitsmall) for my writings. If you really wanna read some crap I make up, I'll have it lurking around somewhere. Let's make a game out of it. If you find it then YAY you win.

It's just weird how I'm stressed, bored, overtired, ecstatic and depressed at the same time. Though the reds and blues make quite a lovely bouquet at the doorstep.