Fly

So I've been moving stuff into my new apartment. It's a pretty nice place, but it feels weird because that place is gonna have all my stuff. I am genuinely moving out of my mom's place. I don't think it's totally registered yet. Which reminds me, I need to set up cable. Except I don't get my money until mid-August. Guess we'll just have to wait. I did take my antenna and digital converter box, so we get the basic channels. Plus I need to figure out what to do with our entertainment stand. Should we keep the big regular TV which we know fits in there or mooch off my cousin's projector? I don't know. I wish I got my money sooner.

But I'm now convinced it was a good thing that I'm staying here for grad school. My mom has another cancerous mass. This time it's in her left kidney. Thank God they found it this early. It was entirely by accident that they found it too. she's been having some stomach issues ever since her gallbladder removal two years ago, and it's been getting more frequent. So while they were taking an MRI of her stomach, they noticed the thing in her kidney. I just worry now about whether there's anything else they need to be looking for. This would be her second cancer in four years. I am now convinced that that Sugar Ray song "Fly" is gonna happen. There's a line that goes "Twenty-five years old/ My mother, God rest her soul." I was really hoping that after my mom's cervical cancer last time she wouldn't have any other problems like that. Guess not. Damn. Just seems like every two years now she's gonna have some other issue until there's something she can't live without.

Everyone I know's been so good to me.

"It takes a man to be a dad"

So I'm sitting here in the dark, trying to fathom something that's never really been a part of my life until now: Father's Day. As you may know, I took a shot and invited my dad to my graduation. I hadn't seen him in over seven years, and I honestly don't think I had ever had a serious conversation with him. Part of me really hoped that he would reply, and he did, but I have to say it still kinda knocks me off guard. So I've been talking with him now and then. A text messsage here or there. I caught up with him for breakfast one morning when he was up here in Tucson. I stare at the watch he bought me for my graduation, and I have to wonder why now. Was it because I was now an adult and able to confront this in a mature level? Was it because I was graduating with a degree in Engineering which could earn me a hefty income for him, his wife, and my half siblings to mooch from? Was it because it was the right thing to do? Maybe it was all three, I dunno, but I know I am gonna make a phone call come sunrise. Maybe I should do a text in case he's in church or something. Maybe I should be in church or something.

But that fact of the matter is, my mom is the one who's been there for me all this time. Why should I let this guy suddenly get some of the glory? I worked my ass off to get here, and my mom worked her ass off to make it possible for me to get here. I know I don't need a dad in my life. The question now is do I want a dad in my life? I honestly don't know. Louis is my father, yes, but is that as far as I want to take it? Could things have been different if he had been more prevalent in my life? Of course, but the fact is I see Louis as the guy that my mom had to force a court-ordered paternity test. I see him as the guy who bought me a baseball, bat, glove, and a Tonka dump truck when I was 3 and said he would come and play with me but never did. I see him as the guy I wrote a letter to one time when I was 6, telling him I had beaten Super Mario Brothers 100 times but it was still a lot of fun. I see him as the stranger that came and talked with me when I had walked to the Post Office to pick up my Yoshi keychain. I see him as the almost silent hug from when my grandpa died. Have I just opened up this Pandora box of angst of mistrust? Sometimes I fear so. I know my mom has been cautious about this thing the whole time because she says she doesn't want me to get dissapointed. Well I've already been dissapointed enough times; another time wouldn't hurt.

I don't want a new best friend. I don't know what I want. Closure? An apology? I've had all the family I've needed the past 22 years. I do still have that Tonka truck.

I'm gonna go hug my mom in the morning.

Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs, pt 3

Last part!

We woke up early Saturday morning to head down to Pike's Place Market. Tony, going without a map again, managed tro take us like a milem further down the main street, but we did spot a couple of cool restaurants. Tony was perplexed as to why there was a hot dog stand on the pier. I understood completely.

We started on the ground floor of the market, went up probably 5 or 6 floors, and found ourselves back on the ground floor. That's how steep Seattle is at some points. We saw all the different shops they had, including the iconic fish throwers. Some stores we saw on the pier said that they had salmon so fresh that a well trained vet could bring them back to life. That would be interesting to see.

After that, we went to take another tour called the Argosy Cruise. It's a short 1-hour drive around Elliot Bay which digs right inbetween East Seaatle and West Seattle. Tony and I stayed on the top of the boat and got really good views of more buildings and Mount Rainier. Unfortunately, we got a bit sunburned. Oh well. People were complaining that it was like almost 80 degrees that day. Wimps. Of course, I'm a wimp in the opposite direction. I think anything below 60 is cold.

The next stop was to the local aquarium just a couple of piers down. It was pretty cool looking, though in all honesty I liked the one in Monterrey, CA a lot more. All the kids were trying to find Nemo and Dorie. We saw some weird fuzzy-like fish that Tony mentioned looked like those elephant things from Star Wars. Then this guy shows us a tattoo he has of that particular Star Wars creature. So Seattle definitely has its nerd population, which was comforting. The otters were cute, and we somehow missed the octopus, but it was an interesting excursion.

I should mention that most of the stuff we saw was part of this CityPass that we bought. Saved us like 50% versus seeing the Space Needle, Aquarium, EMP/SFM, Argosy Cruise, and the Science Center separately. There were also a few things we discovered but didn't have time for like the Seattle Underground or Alki Beach. But for only three days of exploring, we got a lot done.

We got dinner at an expensive seafood restaurant on the pier (our total, with tip, was 100 bucks. I cringed when I saw the bill. We brought enough vacation money for this kind of stuff, but it still hurts.) and bought some souvenirs. We went back to crash at the hotel for a bit, and we headed out for our final venture. We walked back up to the Space Needle that evening and used our CityPass for a free trip up. We had to wait a while cause some prom kids were being rowdy. But we got to see the skyline at night. It was pretty massive, and yet it made me long for Tucson. Tony and I talked for a bit on top of the Space Needle, and then went down for the last time.

We went next door to the Science Center. We had wanted to check out some of their regular exhibits, but we instead used our coupons to get into the IMAX theater at the center. Normally they just have educational-type. field trip flicks, but they had Night at the Museum 2 on Special Engagement, as well as, by popular demand, a reprisal of Star Trek IMAX. We were both surprised to see so many people there for the 11:30 pm showing of Star Trek, and I'm not a Trekkie by any means but Tony had never seen an IMAX movie, and we were already there and had tickets. From a movie standpoint, it was really good. I knew enough to keep track of everyone, and I like recognizing cast members from their other stints. But we didn't get back to our hotel until like 3 in the morning. The taxi driver was saying something in Hindu about a degree in Mechanical Engineering.

On Sunday morning all we did was have a brunch at the hotel. It was actually a deluxe brunch that cost 30 bucks per person. We had prime rib, sushi, pancakes, and omlettes. I was afraid to ask them for ketchup, thinking it was too low-class. Maybe I could've asked for fancy ketchup. I still definitely feel out of place in upper crust society, and I know I'm gonna be heading towards it when I get my PhD, but the last thing I want to do is forget how to clean my own sh*t.

We wrote out some postcards we had, and checked out of our hotel. No limo from the shuttle service on the way back, but the van ride was pleasant enough. The clouds were starting to return, and it was our cue to head back to AZ. The line at the airport was just a little longer than TIA, and we were there with like a half hour to spare. We then flew back through Sky Harbor. Nothing too eventful, but boy was I happy to buy food that cost less than 10 dollars.

So Seattle was an awesome trip. It would be cool to go back someday, check out some other stuff and nearby cities, but it felt good to be back home.