Brain Folds

Memories are weird. I was watching an episode of Scrubs where this guy had amnesia and didn't remember that he tried to commit suicide, so they start talking about memories and the good ones and the bad ones that help make you who you are.

Then out of nowhere I had two just pop into my head based on different stimuli. The first was while watching CNN at the Doctor's office waiting for my mom's appointment to end. This one school adapted their Easter egg hunt so that those children with vision and/or hearing problems could have fun, too. For those who couldn't see they had some beeping eggs, which indicated that there were other eggs nearby.

And then suddenly I'm back in kindergarten, playing freeze tag and egg hunting with my class in front of the house where all the nuns lived. I remember it well cause I sprained my ankle on the stairs and I couldn't hunt for eggs with people. I just sat there from the porch*, the nuns trying to decide whether or not to call my mom to say that I got hurt. After a few minutes I start trying to walk on it, and it seems okay. The nuns breathe a sigh of relief, but for me all the eggs were gone.

Then this evening I went with my mom to Wal-Mart (some Spring Break, huh?) to finally use that gift card she had received a while back. We buy mostly necessities and stuff for my uncle who's visiting again this weekend. He just retired- I have a feeling he'll be over a lot more. yay. But we're heading down aisles, grabbing things left and right when a lady in a scooter starts going in reverse. Her machine beeps rhythmically.

And then suddenly I'm back in seventh grade, going down the almost empty halls of the Wal-Mart on Speedway at midnight with school the next day. With my mom's work schedule, it was the only time we had to go buy things. The bigass sweeper machine hums loudly as it goes down aisle by aisle, and I'm pretty sure sometimes it chased me, like a cat being chased by a vacuum cleaner. 7th grade was rough- my first year in Tucson, still no real friends, just the other misfits who also got dropped off really early and hung out in the school library. By eighth grade I was more popular, and ate lunch with a steady group of people. But, man, those first days were rough.

Memories are weird. Sometimes you think you gave your mom her car keys, and then somehow they mysteriously show up in your aunt's purse. Sometimes they go off random tangents. I'm keeping a running list of songs that I know I sing at full volume when I'm by myself in the car. Those include:

"Lightning Crashes" by Live
"Like a Stone" by Audioslave
"In the Air Tonight" by Phil Collins
"Separate Ways" by Journey
"Outside" by Staind

so if you're ever in the car with me and one of those songs start, be warned!

Man, maybe I should get a Psychology minor... oh, wait. No time. I forgot. At least I took Psych 101 last semester. That was a good class for me to take, not in terms of content per se but just being a non-Engineering class. Next fall will be the only semester where I have all Engineering classes. That's gonna be brutal. Tentative schedule:

AME 400 Senior Lab
AME 412A Senior Design
AME 413A Senior Design Lab
AME 432 Heat Transfer
AME 474 Reliability and Quality Analysis
AME 352 Machine Dynamics

* for some unknown unconscious reason, I had originally typed in 'heart' instead of 'porch'. Wonder why?

DISASTER!

Ugh, I have the flu. This sucks. This totally sucks. Not only does this drastically reduce the likelihood of me trekking during Spring Break, but I'm pretty sure I know how I got it, too, and I have no one to blame but myself.

It all started in 7th grade. I wanted to be in the school band really badly, and the teacher, Mr. Jones (he might be dead now- I don't know) scrounged up a beat-up school clarinet for me to play since I couldn't afford one myself. I wound up being 6th chair out of like 20, and out of kindness he pushed me up to the advanced band for 8th grade. I then managed to get my own clarinet, practiced really hard, and managed to be usually 3rd or 4th chair out of 20 or so.

Long story short, I pulled it out for nostalgia's sake and started trying to belt something out. I hadn't played it since 8th grade. Musically, it was a disaster, but I didn't clean the reed or nothing before I stuck it in my mouth. I'm almost confident that's how I got sick. The past always finds a way to haunt you. So now I don't know what I'll be doing for my break. Maybe it's just a short-lived thing and will go away on its own, but that's being optimistic. For the meantime I'm shoved under 2 blankets with chills. Plus I should probably clean my keyboard.

And I got a 5 on the GRE writing! Yay! That's like almost 75th percentile, which should help my odds for grad school, thought I probably do have to retake the verbal.

Re-learning how to breathe

Finally, after a straight week of anxious midterms, I am free of any assignments and homeworks. Thus, my Spring break is beginning. Granted, I'll still go to class these next two days, but there is definitely a change in my attitude, I know that for sure. For those of you with tests still pending, my heart goes out to you, it really does. But just imagine how good you'll feel when they're all done.

So here's a midterm breakdown:

AME 324B- Pretty easy seeming. Hope I didn't screw up on something easy.
Expected: 90%
Got: TBA [Edit 3/26 100% Hooray! Maybe I don't suck at this class!]

PHYS 242- I was freaking out on the test. Man, I should have read the book more.
Expected: 80%
Got: 90% Yay I officially have a D in that class. (as in, if i didn't do any more homeowrk or tests for the remaining of the semester I'd still get a D.)

MATH 466- Pretty straightforward, though one problem gave me a hard time.
Expected: 85%
Got: 99% I love Dr. Watkins! That's all I have to say.

AME 300- Nothing too confusing. Stupid E&M formulas.
Expected: 90%
Got: TBA [Edit 3/26: 92%, though I think one of the questions was really vague and cost me 6 points. Stupid intervals.]

AME 455- I got all nice numbers. That should mean something.
Expected: 90%
Got: TBA [Edit 3/24: D2L says I got a 100 on it! Sweet.]

So maybe I stress out too much on midterms. I don't know. All I know is that the feeling of relief just about makes up for all the worrying.

My cousin got Smash Brawl. Pretty cool looking. I have a feeling I won't get to play Guitar Hero on my Wii that much anymore. I'm not that into Smash, but it's fun.

If I am going to the Grand Canyon, I need to get a few things first:
-a spare tire
-lots of water
-a good roadmap. etc

I thought it was pretty cool how they mentioned going to the GC in the newspaper today. That was really comforting. Of course, it says to get a lot of friends and go hiking. Well, I'm not much of a hiker, so that might limit the activities I could do, but I just want to get away from the Tucson halo for a little bit.

Still no word on my GRE scores. Maybe I should call. I'll give them 'til Friday and then start hounding.

Spring schedules are up. Crap. I have a conflict. The Engineering class I was supposed to take last year is at the same time as the Engineering class I really wanted to take this year. Maybe I could do summer school and no job? Summer class and a job? I don't know. I'd have to discuss it with Glickenstein.

I think I have enough money in case of any unforseen emergencies. God, I want to go so badly. Hopefully I will. I might get a friend of mine to come along too, but that's pending a few things, namely him not knowing that I want to go to the Grand Canyon and chose to stay sober for lent.

But I still have 5.5 or so hours of lecture before then.

Rocky Point? Nah...

I want to go to the Grand Canyon for Spring break. The second I mention this to my aunt, she starts getting these crazy ideas. We could go to Vegas for a weekend. Or maybe San Diego.

No, I want to go to the Grand Canyon. Not us. I want to go with my friends. And if none of them can make it, then I'll be glad to go by myself. I can map it out. Take some cash. Find inexpensive hotels. Drive-thru's. I want to see the Grand Canyon. I'm just afraid the only thing stopping me is myself.

Since I gave up booze for lent, I can't drink until Easter Sunday (the last day of our break) as it is, so I don't want to go to Mexico. I don't think I can either with the new Passport laws. I still remember when I told myself I was gonna run away to New Mexico and wait for somebody who cared enough to find me. Maybe if I go up to GC I can find somebody who is waiting for someone to find them. But maybe I'm just being conceited.

Apparently it costs 100 bucks to go walk on that platform that stretches over the canyon. The Grand Canyon should be free. Maybe I'm still stuck in this "Into The Wild" mentality but damn I loved that movie. And Alaska's too far away and too cold.