Toast

I am burnt out. I got a C on my last assignment (which is pretty much the equivalent of an F in undergrad), and today's lecture on the eigenfunctions of non-self-adjoint operators went pretty much over my head. But there is only two weeks left, and then I can give myself a pat on the back. This first year is 95% over class wise. No time for breaking now.

I don't know why, but my motivation this past week has just disappeared and I don't know where it went. I woke up at 10:40 this morning and only by the magic of green traffic lights was I able to make it to class on time, although I had to pay to use the 6th Street Garage 4 bucks for going to ONE CLASS! I remember back in the day when they would charge a dollar an hour and only after the full hour had completed. Where is all the money going? To burnt out grad students like me.

I saw one of the post-docs I had met at orientation last year. She's nice, and has been asking me if I'm fully addicted to coffee yet. I conceded to the fact but said I was hooked on Dew because, seriously, I don't like coffee. I remember she said she lived way in Sierra Vista (no idea why), but she seems very cool and down to earth.

Just procrastinating here. Should be working on my mini-research project, but the prof is still out since his wife just had a baby. Good and bad. Not sure how much I care about the project anymore.

I think that might be the problem. I'm constantly asking myself "What am I doing here?" to which I answer "To work on my Master's". Master's. I have this defeatist attitude that I either don't or can't stay here. I look at the projects everybody is working on, but nothing stands out to me. I'm seriously considering retaking the Math GRE again in the Fall (Maybe I can actually study for it this time). This is all hypothetical at this point.

Maybe I just need a little vacation time away from math for a bit. Maybe a week or two after our presentations. Then maybe I'll feel better. I sure hope so, because I hate the way I feel about things right now.

Well that's dandy. Blogger won't recognize the texts I send that are over 160 characters. Well it's some 14 percent more efficient than Twitter. Take what U can

Test message from a text message.

The Fan

So I finally finished up with midterms.

Numerical Analysis: 91% YAY. I completely blew a question when I thought the prof meant 2*pi*(x^2 + y^2) (I should've asked) when he wrote x^2(2*pi) + y^2(2*pi), meaning the evaluations of x(t) and y(t) squared at t = 2*pi. But the rest I aced.

Methods: 60% This was the class average (or so Dr. Tabor said to make the rest of us feel better.) I completed bombed the 2 questions on Fourier and Laplace transforms (2/20), struggled through the questions on distribution theory (14/20) and aced the part on Green's functions for ode's (20/20), but only because I was dumb enough to assume everything was honkey-dorey though it techincally wasn't, so I guess I got lucky.

Analysis- 76%. Dr. Choi graded the tests really easy, I think. I got 3 points for acknowledging that 1^2 = 1, so the 2-norm of a function was the square root of its 1-norm, though I completely forgot the formula that the question was actually needing.

Amazingly enough, I have no homework due this week. But then the s*** hits the fan next week. Three assignment due in a 2-day span. I have to get as much done before Monday because my Sunday will be spent at the KFMA concert and Saturday night will be at a birthday party. Ugh. Priorities.

Life is busy. My Youtube video on contour integration is creeping up to 1,000 views. Well, it's 760 supposedly, but still. I guess it is kinda like Field of Dreams. If you upload it, they will watch.

I should be asleep right now. I'm on Zyrtec over the counter because my allergies have been killing me. But Zyrtec makes me drowsy all day long. And it gives me the munchies. I mean I had a whole pizza and Panda Express for dinner. And I'm getting hungry again! Not good. At least it works wonders on my allergies, but I'm starting to think the side effects outweigh the good. I went off my allergy regimen last October because the UofA doesn't really cover prescription costs until I pay at least $1,000 out of pocket I think, and I'm relatively tight on money as it is even with the extra stipend the Math department gave me (though I admit I have also squandered that on routine maintenance for my car- new tires, oil changes, 30,000 mile service, etc). so I'm a little worried I'll be strapped for cash next year. But we'll see.

One day at a time. Only like 20 more lecture days. Then finals. Then a little breather room as we prep for quals. One day at a time.