Now if I ever come out to them it will be even more awkward.

Steve got married, and I am elated for him and Elizabeth.

Why do I feel such disdain right now? Is it envy? Oh yeah probably. Is it the overwhelming feeling that you yourself will never be in such a situation? Yeah that too. I got to be the ring bearer. Next to the actual getting married that's like the most important part.

It's funny how you can feel like you give 100% of yourself for friends, and then you don't give a shit about yourself. You let the laundry piles accumulate. You shower every other day out of necessity. The concept of "smelling good" seems like such a crazy idea.

Maybe all I ever can be is the good friend. Maybe I am just the side character in everyone else's story. And there was Mitch.

And then there wasn't.