My non-heteronormative tendencies versus the overwhelming disapproval of the populace vs enlightenment

After all these years of loneliness, it was obvious one of two things were going to happen.

Either I let it consume me

Or I learn to fight back

But when you are so terrified to make a move, that even thinking about making a move seems impossible

Then does that mean the loneliness has already won? Is this a metaphorical battle in the first place? I could be one email or 100 from a major turning point.

But I am terrified to move.

At least being a statue hasn't killed me yet. But how much longer will that last? Maybe I could hold it off forever like a myth.

Maybe this was a battle I should have abandoned years ago.