Identity Crisis

So I went with my cousin Tony to a Smash Bros tournament they had at the mall. He had signed us up, paid the entry fee and everything. The big prize is a 26" LCD TV. But I think my cousin wanted to play more because he wanted a decent challenge at Smash Bros. None of his other friends play it all that much, or well, and I'm decent at it but by no means awesome. He beats me 9 times out of 10, so it always feels a little lopsided. But lately we've been practicing a couple nights after he gets home from work. I had low expectations of myself in this tournament, just hoping to make it to the second round, and hoping Tony would go far. Maybe not the finals, but close.

I got paired up with a guy who used Snake. I was Luigi, my standard. He won the first match. I won the second. He won the third and final. Poo. I'm out. I actually got excited and into the battle at the end, and I could feel an adrenaline rush that I frankly hadn't felt in a long time. I had a slight chance of possibly winning, but alas, not so. Some little kid behind me was making commentary on EVERY LITTLE DETAIL. It was annoying. But he was just surprised that Snake wasn't totally whooping my butt, so I took it as a compliment. Naturally, I was bummed that I lost, and Tony was too because he paid 10 bucks for me to get in. But it got me thinking.

What the fuck am I doing? Here I am at a thing where the average age of the contestants was probably around 18. Ages went from some 10 year old kids to a lot of high schoolers up to one guy who brought his wife and son to the tourney, so I'm guessing 30ish. Plus there were some spectators, and the rules made it blatant to maintain a friendly demeanor so it was oriented towards everyone. We are grown adults playing video games, beating the crap out of 12 year olds on screen. Part of me found it quite upsetting.

Oh, and Tony made it to the 3rd or 4th round. Right before the top 16. His fight was near the end of the round after most everyone else had played, so I like to think of it as he made top 20. Brent's friend Sean was there too as a referee, making sure all goes well. With 100 people signed up, it was pretty chaotic.

But I think fate had it in for Tony from the start. He brought his Gamecube controller from home, but when it came time to fight, he couldn't jump! He could move up on the character select screen, but during the fight it wouldn't work. The ref saw this and was able to get Tony a temporary controller. He then bought a 3rd party controller from the store for the rest of the matches. It was crap. The rubbery part on the analog stick fell off and it hurt his thumb. He tried his old controller on a different Wii during some downtime, and that one wouldn't work either. And yet, when we got home, IT WORKED PERFECTLY FINE! Turns out some newer Wiis have a hardware issue with Gamecube controllers. I used my Wii remote, and most everybody else used a 3rd party Gamecube controller or Wii remote to play, so this might've been a lone incident. But yeah, Tony was upset. Not only did he have to buy a crappy controller, but there was nothing wrong with his in the first place, so he feels he couldn't give 100%. He said with all this bad karma that this may be the last tournament he go to.

But it's got me thinking. I mean, we are a part of a generation where video games are almost as natural as TV. I've had my NES since I was 3. I bought my Super NES with my allowance money. I won my Wii in a Guitar Hero tournament at school. It's been a part of my life. Do I have to outgrow video games? I admit, I have no interest to play adult type games like GTA4, Halo, etc. (though I did like beating up the hookers in GTA3 after they performed their "services," but that was back in high school). I don't know, sometimes, a lot of times, most of the time I feel like a kid stuck inside a large body. Like I never grew up. And in that sense it feels like I missed out on a lot of things. Getting my license at 16. Dates. Senior prom. I think I was just about the same kid when I graduated from high school as I was when I stared high school. It feels like there was some benchmark somewhere that says "You're an adult now" that I totally missed. And it really bums me out.

I still don't wear perfume (oh, I'm sorry, body spray) to impress women. I've never been on a real date with a girl before. I've never been on A date with a girl before. I still don't get what makes drinking alcohol so awesome. There are stuffed animals scattered around my room. I don't know what I'd do without my mother. I'm too goddamn afraid to step out into the world. So I hide. In my room, playing Guitar Hero, to forget that I should be out on Friday nights, playing poker with the guys from work or meeting people at a club or something. I just don't get it. I don't get me.