Less definite

Don't know why, but lately it seems as if my grasp with reality has weakened. Like last week, I'm leaving to go to school, get on the main road, make a couple of turns, and then blink. Then out of nowhere I just think, "Oh, I'm driving a car." as I open my eyes. I mean yes I remember all the events leading up to it, but it was almost as if that one blink somehow made a time division to me. Not everything is so discrete, mind you, but it just feels like I could blink at any moment and when I open my eyes, I am someone entirely different living a completely different life. I just hope nobody tries to brainwash me, for it would probably work.

School's going OK. Grades are pretty good. If I'm lucky I might be able to pull off a 4.0, we'll see. I have two midterms next week, both of which I need to do really well on. Registered for fall classes, talked with my summer program prof. (Nice guy, but there ain't a lot of structure at the moment). Fiddle still on my guitar- I now know like 10 chords!

I think I am somehow degenerating in age. Lately I just feel real immature and like a big jerk. Watching cartoons. Slacking off homework. I don't know. Feels like I lost the rigor that high school prepared me with, and now I just do everything on the fly. Granted, half of what I did in high school was out of my butt, but at least it was good stuff. Now I try and ad hoc something and it just lies in a big stink wad.

I want a girlfriend. Bad.