I know

I should be so much more appreciative of this gift that has been bestowed upon me, but it seems so unreal right now. It's like I'm only renting it for a couple weeks and then I'll have to wave bye bye to it and that experience will be over. Buut I've never ben good to transition. I mean of course I cried; thank goodness it was already evening, but now I really don't know if I can accept it. I mean what have I donw to deserve sucj a thing? Nothing. I haven't done anything prizeworthy, and though they tell me that being myslef is enough in itself, it's not. I don't deserve this. And yet now I havev to look back and realize that maybe I am and be hapy or that I'm not and feel indebted.

And now it's mine. I've just never really had anythging of my own really, well, of this caliber. But now it just makes me think of other things like college and prom and I just don't know if I'm mature enough top take on this.

I am so thankful and grateful, but I just don't know, well, shit.