I want to quit grad school, but my advisor's been too busy to talk with me. I haven't tried any research in almost a month, trying to focus on teaching and my one class that I'm taking. It's not going too well in my Stochastics class, but I guess it doesn't need to be?

I explained to my mom that I was done with grad school, though obviously not finished. I'm glad she was supportive of it, but it felt like I was talking to her Human Resources Supervisor persona as opposed to, you know, MOM. I still feel like shit about it. But I am at a point where grad school felt like a prison. I began counting the number of days until my theoretical graduation date. A thousand days no longer seemed like a long time. "You're not going anywhere," colleagues would say, indicating they'd see me around. I was so stressed out that I was depressed and getting high blood pressure (my few posts from this year definitely suggest that, too).

I still feel like I'm letting down everyone, but maybe this is what I need. Had I not gotten the G-TEAMS Fellowship last year, I would have left at that time. I don't care about Biology. I like teaching. Hard to say if I'd be a GOOD teacher at a regular school, but at the U I think I do an okay job.