I don't know what to say right now. All I know is that everything sucks. It's kinda pathetic when I'm looking forward to summer school to take my mind off everything that is not going right. The doctor said that my grandma has, at most, two months. We'll have to downsize, giving/selling half the stuff just to fit into a cheaper apartment so we can start paying for all the bills. Everything I have taken for granted in my life is no longer constant. And, to kick the boot, I still don't want to learn how to drive, and the only reason I'll probably be getting my license (if I can even pass the stupid thing) is because my family is frankly tired of giving me a ride everywhere. I just don't trust myself enough that I'll be a good driver. Because I'm manic and paranoid. My heart is in nothing. I have no balls. I'm sick and tired staying here in this mouse hole but I'm deathly afraid of stepping outside. And now I'm getting claustophobic. This is the only vent in the boiler. And now my shoulder blade hurts.