The beautiful letdown

Yeah, I really like that Switchfoot album. wink wink. come on people, it's shopping season.

So I got my PSAT score today. And I didn't get nationla merit. Nope. I know it may be a shock to some of ya, but I'm not as smartas you'd liek to think I am. I mean Celeste got a 237; I didn't even break 200! Actually I socred higher on it sophomore year than I did this year. 204 vs. 197. does that mean I'm getting dumber? I dunno. I mean I shouldn't be that upset; 95 percentile is still damn good, but it's not damn good enough for anyone around me. I had friends who got 98th and were on the verge of crying.

Look at what they've done to us. We're pathetic.

I mean yeah I got 80 on math, like last year, but I went down in both readong and writing. (see? It would help if I could spel and have good grammer) But hey, so what's your main chance of getting good scholarships fly out the window; it's nothing. NO, but I'm seriously bummed. And now I'm here trying to figure out who I'm letting down more, everyone else or myself, and that's just sad.

But at least this dread of a year only has one more day until we're half way done. sigh. I really hate school right now.

I should be ecstatic and I'm only glad that I didn't screw it up more.

But then there's the argument that it's only a number and means nothing about the person. I should know that, but my life has never been anything but numbers so screw you.

Mood: Really pissed and disappointed but anxious
Listening to: The low pitched hum of the comp.